Start by showing up
You do not need perfect words. Often the most powerful thing you can say is simply, "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." Presence matters more than advice.
What helps
- Listen without rushing to fix. Let them talk, and resist the urge to minimize or solve.
- Ask directly and kindly: "How are you really doing?" and "What would feel supportive right now?"
- Validate their feelings. "That sounds really hard" goes a long way.
- Offer practical help, such as a meal, a ride to an appointment, or help researching providers.
- Check in again later. Support is not a one-time conversation.
What to avoid
- Phrases like "just cheer up" or "others have it worse."
- Taking their pain personally or making it about you.
- Pushing them to share more than they are ready to.
- Promising to keep a safety concern secret.
If you are worried about their safety
Asking someone directly about suicide does not put the idea in their head. It can open the door to help. If you believe someone is in danger, stay with them, call or text 988, or call 911 in an emergency.
Take care of yourself too
Supporting someone is exhausting. Set boundaries, lean on others, and consider counseling for yourself. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
If your loved one needs care but cost is in the way, point them toward Martha's Legacy. We may be able to help.
Need help paying for therapy?
Martha's Legacy provides financial assistance for therapy in Lufkin and Houston, Texas.
In crisis? Call or text 988 any time. This article is for information only and is not medical advice.